Thursday, August 7, 2008

Believe

I guess I am at a crossroads. I told myself that I would put my all into this but if it didn't work out....I would be okay with it.  I lied.  I am not okay with it.  As the song says  "Believe in me......I know you've waited for so long..........believe in me.......all I think about is you......... I was meant for chasing dreams......it's my life, it's my choice"  I do believe but it is so hard not to get discouraged!  I have a dream of what my family will be.......at 46 years old, is that too much to ask??!!  As much love as I have given.......isn't it my turn to receive it......and give it again?!

14 comments:

Sandi said...

Lisa
I can totally relate. This process is so difficult and truly wears on you. I started over with another agency after having a failed attempt the first time around. I am happy to report that things are going so much better and I do believe that in time I will meet my daughter.

Sandi

Joby and Marla said...

Don't give up yet. My agency told me this week that dossiers were staying at MFA for at least 90 days before moving on. Maybe you will hear something soon!!!!

Jill (& Bob) said...

I went through my way down moments earlier this week. I'm back to being positive because it's more tolerable to all. I am trying to remember that all of these hard times will melt away for each of us when we get to hold our babies for the first time. Keep the faith! Believe me, I understand. If you want access to our blog, just e-mail, you can see my rant!

Harmondk2 said...

"Isn't it my turn...." Yes it is. Understanding completely where you are coming from, I have to believe that we are truly passengers on this journey. The path to our precious one is a road we have not carved out. I'm sure, living in Tx you understand the metaphor ...the road seems so long and as soon as we reach the hill top, the other side only reveals more of what was behind us.

But you are moving toward Sam - Just remember who will be standing at the trail's end.
Something that gives me hope is - throughout Evan's life I will support him and will teach him to soar for his dreams. He is our dream; to much is at stake to give up hope.

We share in your sadness, stress, and desire to hold the little one who will fill our heart.

Kari and Danny Harmon

Harmondk2 said...

......P.S... how did you get the music on your blog.. I've been having difficulties with that.. :)
Kari

qmiller said...

Lisa: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't give up! I pray that someday you will look back on this time as a period of affirmation for what you hold dear. Hold On!
Quaintance
ps...I'd also like to know about putting music on a blog!!

Lori @ Five of My Own said...

Look at all the adoptions blogs out there...have you ever read of a family who didn't think it was worth it in the end? You can do this.

Jessica and Chris said...

Lisa,
I have had a really hard week too. I have decided that it is just going to go up and down like a roller coaster. You CAN do it and it WILL happen for you. Sam will be there waiting for you.
Jessica

JaneMM said...

Lisa,
Isn't it funny and very painful that we have "plans" for our lives to be so perfect. I feel your pain and everyone's as we at times agonize with this wait for some kind of word or sign. I was okay all summer trying to avoid my friends and co-workers with their well meant questions, but school starts in one week. We can get through this. I am also 46 with a birthday quickly approaching....Life sucks sometimes. Sorry for my outburst.

You all have my email if you need to vent: jmm205@verizon.net

Jane

The Dusty Attic said...

Lisa,
Hang in there!! We all know where you are at in this, and we all have had our ups and downs.....it will work itself out....you have come this far!!! You are a strong person and I know that deep down you know that you have the strenght to do this!! We are all supporting you.....Stay strong!
Kerry

Rose said...

Hi Lisa,

I believe that the only way this will NOT happen is if you decide to end it...and I don't believe that you will do that. If you are willing to perservere, you will find Sam. Colene always tells me that Katie is out there and, as long as I don't give up, she won't either and together we will find her. You WILL find Sam because you won't stop looking until you do.

Rose

McMary said...

Hi Lisa,
Keep believing--Sam is out there.
This waiting is so so hard and I feel just like you but we have to believe--the alternative is to painful.
Don't give up--it will be your turn!

Anonymous said...

Hi Lisa, I'm not sure what I can say to make things better, but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. You were wonderful to me, and I want you to know that you're not alone. Best regards, Susan

Matthew Ruley said...

I had many moments in our journey when I wondered - will this ever happen> Can my heart handle this much aching and the waiting really is painful! I understnad although that may not help. Know that you will get there, you and Sam will be united. You are not alone in the journey - it will happen and many people are following

Looking for Sam

This is a blog of my quest to adopt a child from Kazakhstan. Enjoy!