Yesterday I was talking with the someone at the agency that will be doing my Home study update. she said "Why would you think that you would have a successful adoption in Kazakhstan this time around?" I was floored....I couldn't even think of how to answer her other then to tell her it was a paperwork issue not ME that was denied!
Later my friend Tina and I were discussing me reapplying to Kaz, she said this...." I can see you in your 60s sitting alone on a bench and some teen aged boy comes up to you and says that his name is Sam. Then he says that he grew up in an orphanage in Kazakhstan because his Mama never came to get him......... " At first I laughed and then broke into tears. This is exactly my fear, she nailed it! My belief that my Sam is in Kaz is what keeps me going. How can I give up? If there is even a chance that he is there, don't I have to do everything in my power to find him?
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9 comments:
Lisa
I am so sorry you got the call, however at least you know what is currently going on and I truly hope you continue following your heart. I had heartbreak my first attempt, and it was my agency who failed me, and I firmly believe there is a reason why and I know that I am with the right agency now and the region I've been assigned is truly where my child is at. Hang in there and follow your heart.
let me know if you want to chat.
Sandi
Isn't that what International Adoption is all about...having faith that...no KNOWING your child is somewhere and doing whatever it takes to bring them home. The faith part comes from picking your agency and having faith that they will get it done. Just because your agency broke their promise of faith to you that they would get the job done dose not mean Sam isn't in Kaz waiting for you. It just means that you have to find the agency that will do their job. I have FAITH that you have found that agency and Sam will be waiting for you when you finally get to Kaz. Then when you are sitting on the porch and that teenage boy name Sam comes up to you, well then you can tell him to get his room cleaned up before dinner. See that image of the future may just be right it's just the ending that's different because you DID go get him and he knows just where home is, with you.
You are on the right road now so believe and you'll be holding Sam in your arms before you know it.
Lou Ann & her soap box!
Lisa:
This week, 5 years ago, I FINALLY got the picture of the little one who was meant to be my little girl...this was after 2 country changes, 2 agencies, 2 home study agencies, 1 lost referral, and months and months of praying. I was telling Madina about it this morning, as we were getting ready for our day, and her response was " Boy, you sure did have to learn to be patient, didn't you Mama??" Keep your eye on the prize!!
Quaintance
Lisa,
YOu have to follow your dream. I too believe that you know where Sam is and you have to follow that road. I just sent an email to you about agencies that are successfully completing adoptions in Kaz and in a good time frame. You just need to find the right person to get you there. Keep going!
Mary
I am so sorry about the road block but maybe Sam just isn't ready yet. Follow your heart & everything will work out. Sam is waiting for you & he won't be a teenager when you meet him.
Hang in there!!!!!
It really will be worth all the waiting once you hold him in your arms.
I am so glad to see you moving forward. It is hard to pick up the pieces and know where to go. I went to a couple of other agency sites that adopt in from Kaz and I just couldn't bear looking. Maybe our time wasn't now, but I am glad to see that you are keeping the faith and not ending your search for Sam!
Michelle
Hi Lisa...wow it has been so long since we've talked... I was so happy to share our new updates with you...but enough about us..
Since we have very very limited control over what happens it hurts to see you being so hard on yourself. Can you pursue two countries? Do you know if Kaz has had any families go through recently...??
This is truly the part of adoption that seems so broken. There are many many families that are praying to bring home a baby and so many babies just waiting. The agencies and country officials seem to be the ones to tripping over one another. I'm sorry, I'm just so frustrated for you and trust 1000% Sam will find you...Just be open to the road turning a direction you were not expecting….
You will always be in our hearts and minds..
Kari
Ok I am a horrible blogger these days. WOW I had no idea! this is awful but I am sure you will know the right thing to do. good luck!
Lisa: OK...it has been a month...how are you doing??? Just checking in and letting you know that my thoughts are with you!
Quaintance
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